njasm (njasm) wrote in babies2003,
njasm
njasm
babies2003

"I don't like you, I only like daddy!"

My four-year old has been saying this and it's starting to get on my nerves. He's 4, isn't he old enough to understand about "hurting someone's feelings"? I wouldn't mind if he said he liked daddy better, What I mind is him telling me "I don't like you" over and over again. I've explained that it makes me sad when he says that he doesn't like me. He seems to think that he can only like one person and that person for the time being is daddy. Has anyone else had this experience?

He doesn't do this when I'm reprimanding him or putting him in a time-out. He just says it periodically.
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I would say, as much as you can just ignore it. he sounds like he is doing it because he realizes it frustrates you.

You could also trying explaining to him that people can like more than one person and explain that you like him and daddy and any pets you have and grandma and grandpa, ad naseaum.
I did ignore it for a little while, it seemed to only get worse. I explained how we can like more than one person, and then listed the people he knew who I liked. I also explained how he liked his grandma and grandpa, his friends at school.

He went into his stubborn mode and explained that he ONLY liked daddy and didn't like any of those people, not even his favorite friends Zack and Ally from school. So I stopped and just let it go before he started telling his friends at school that he didn't like them either!

I suppose it's a faze?
How long is a little while? It probably was only long enough for him to think that if it he kept it up it would get a rise out of you.

It is most probably a faze if you're saying he went into "stubborn mode" and insisted he didn't like those people. The other day my daughter was listening to a song, "I like ducks" and it goes through all the farm animals which she just adores and she spit out, "I DON'T like ducks" I think most of it is just trying to figure out what gets a rise out of people.
Its pretty normal for kids to have prefrences (and they change) from time to time, I wouldnt take it to heart.
He could mean "daddy was more fun today" or whatever, but he only knows how to express himself one way.

My daughter constantly says how she doesnt like her gramma (MIL) although she does!
its that sometimes she doesnt want to go to her house, or doesnt want gramma to take her out.
Caileigh is 4 and she tells me things like "You hurt my feelings, I hate you and then storms off to her room. I know she doesn't mean it, it's just her way of venting her frustrations. I have noticed that is one extreme or the other. The same day she will sit with me on the couch and cuddle and say "I love you Mommy." I just take it stride because I know that she doesn't know what it is to hate somebaody and there is no way she could actually hate me.
He went through a faze last year where he said that he was my son and that Matthew was Daddy's son and would yell out in public, "that's NOT my daddy, that's Matthew's Daddy and that's MY MOMMY". It was a little embarrassing!

He is very attached to his father lately, he misses him a lot when he goes to work all day. Some days he works from home and some days he's gone until 8pm. I don't mind the favoritism.

I was just looking in my journal, Jason started this on Dec 10th. I used to just respond to his 'I don't like you', with a smile and "well I like you" and then just continue with what I was doing. I did that for a couple of weeks...
That's actully really cute. Though I agree embarassing.
Angel has yelled in public a few times "I don't have a daddy" When other kids asked her why she is only with mommy at the family events in town.
My husband is deployed and Caileigh has been telling people that daddy went to live with his parents. It's frustrating when I have to explain no my husband isn't living with them.
Angel will do things like that as well. In psychology we were duscissing children a bit and they have an inability to focus on anything but the present and now the first few years of life. I think that ends around the age of 4 or 5.
Angel tells me she likes Grandma but not me when grandma just did something fun. Though she'll do it the opposite when I do something fun and not grandma.
Though right now she only likes Grandpa because he has been gone for 9 months. He gets back the 8th so I assume she'll hate everyone but him for a while.

Keep telling him it hurts your feelings, Angel is starting to understand that.
I know it's hard to ignore but it seems like the best thing to do - especially if he goes into stubborn mode when you tried to talk about it. Our son goes through phases of being totally daddy-centric then totally mummy-centric. At first we used to get a bit upset privately but we never said anything to him. We've just got used to it - swings and roundabouts!
My son used to tell me that he doesn't love me anymore and I just say o'well.

If you act like it's a not a big deal/you don't care or ignore it completely it'll stop.


I agree w/ the other girls, he's just trying to push your buttons.
It's a faze... (spelling? I'm tired...)

My kids have done that too... mind you one does it, the other two do it. They don't do it anymore... but I know where you are coming from. Don't let it get to you because the more you do then the more he'll do it...

Not only that, it is a growing thing... He is finding his use of words to be powerful and will use his words for that. So, just ignore it like, Mommy doesn't like that and that makes mommy sad, only say the first time then the rest of the time, ignore... It will go away, stay strong and don't let it get to you.

Good Luck!